Helsinki aired on Radio 4 on 17th July 2009 and starred:
- Roger Allam as Douglas
- Benedict Cumberbatch as Martin
- Stephanie Cole as Carolyn
- John Finnemore as Arthur
- Alison Steadman as Ruth
- Matt Green as Kieran
- Simon Greenhall as Milo
The pre-intro has Douglas talking to Fitton ATC about an echo and GEE, which results in Karl threatening to send them to be back of the line to fix their radio or follow GEE, to which Douglas agrees to.
The episode begins with Martin and Douglas on the flight deck. Douglas is hiding orchids on the flight deck and under the seats as he plans to trade them in Helsinki. Arthur seems low spirited at first as he realises he would have been a millionaire, if the numbers he would have picked came up in the lottery. It turns out that he's interested in meeting the passenger. Arthur Milliner, It's just then that it's revealed that it's Carolyn's birthday. Martin gives her the orchids underneath his seat and this is when Arthur reveals his surprise. He's booked a flight to Helsinki with the crew and Carolyn's sister Ruth. He thought this was a good idea.
Kieran and Martin seem to get on fine at first, but it turns out Martin's career template doesn't match Keiran's, as he's planning on going further than Martin. Meanwhile, Carolyn and Ruth are TRYING to reconcile, while Arthur bakes a cake for Carolyn's birthday.
In Helsinki, Douglas hands Milo his orchids and gets his 14 boxes of fish, while Arthur's leaky cake thing isn't welcomed until they pay 75 euros to get it in. The crew of MJN and Ruth gather in a darkened room to await Carolyn's birthday. Martin and Kieran get into an argument to which Martin clips Kieran round the ear, then Kieran retaliates with martial arts. Ruth and Carolyn get into an argument in which Arthur's liquid chocolate cake ends up on Ruth.
The episode ends with the crew admitting that Helsinki is less Twinkly Helter Skelter and more Sink in Hell. They reflect on the day. Carolyn abandoning Ruth and Kieran in Helsinki. Arthur paying 75 euros for a bowl of sludge which ends up on Ruth, and Martin hitting a child and getting beaten up by said child. They say happy birthday to Carolyn. Her birthday cake is a fishcake with 20 cigarettes in it. Ruth's husband Philip comes out the cabin and the realise he was merely pretending to be deaf.