Cremona aired 19th July 2015 on BBC Radio 4 and starred:
- Roger Allam as Douglas
- Benedict Cumberbatch as Martin
- Stephanie Cole as Carolyn
- John Finnemore as Arthur
- Helen Baxendale as Hester MacCauley
- Rufus Jones as Percival
- Robert Harley as Gawain
- Ali Amadi as Lancelot
The episode opens with a pre-credits scene of Douglas giving a Cabin address that's littered with references to Frank Sinatra songs.
The episode with opens with Martin singing Come Fly With Me, then Carolyn summoning them into the Portacabin to explain to them that they're flying a film star, Hester MacCauley to Cremona in Italy, where she'll be making a movie about Fascist Italy. It also turns out that Arthur is extra excited as she is his favourite film star, having starred as the Lady of the Lake in his favourite movie.
Martin is smitten by Hester and tries to charm his way with her, while Arthur annoys her with his over enthusiasm and his love of Camelot. Though MJN had already earned her ire when they allowed the Camelot fans to swarm her taxi and that Carolyn didn't get her out of the taxi, carry her bags and provide security.
On the flight, it turns out that Hester is staying at the Excelsior, a very posh hotel and that Martin, Douglas and Arthur are staying across the way at the dreadful Garibaldi. Though with some pushing from Hester, Martin books them in the State Rooms on the 5th floor by accident. Martin tries to clean up the mess, but Douglas refuses to leave the State room.
Douglas finally relents after Martin convinces him the rooms have been refunded. The three of them move into the Garibaldi as per Carolyn's request and Arthur is horrified by the cockroaches running round. Martin is later horrified to see a bunch of knights around the Excelsior hotel, demanding to see Hester. Douglas concocts a plan.
Douglas holds an auction to turn the knights into butlers for her state room, using the black shirts for the movie. The accommodations balance out. Hester gets the State Room, Douglas gets a room at the Excelsior thanks to the auction and then Martin and Arthur share the hotel room at the Garibaldi.
The episode ends with Carolyn revealing she was the one who sent the knights and is upset that Martin and Douglas got rid of them, even though Douglas was part of the plan and got a night in the Excelsior.